July 06, 2012

Arab men

Not only did I not get back together with my ex, but we exploded into a fight of terrible. And now he is stalking me. He won't admit that it is stalking and he doesn't seem to see his actions as a problem. And I am left behind closed doors wondering what the hell is wrong with me that I didn't see this coming. I should have seen this coming!

Every single person that I've told about it comments something along the lines of, "Well, yeah, Arab men..." Even the Arab man with whom I had a long talk about it, he said the same thing! Everyone just accepts that if you break up with an Arab man, he will not let you go and will harass you, as if you made some terrible decision, and he won't just let you get on with your life.

Stereotypes make it far too easy for people to brush off issues.

Today I discovered that if you Google "stalker cures," the answers are depressingly slim. Nobody wants to help the stalker, they're all just like "get away from him ASAP." And yes, obviously, but what about him? There's no hope for him? Isn't anybody else curious about what exactly tipped the scales from normal to stalker? Isn't anybody else curious about how to tip the scale back?

I should have gone into psychology. There is clearly a lot of work to be done there.

4 comments:

  1. I think it's only American men who let exes go easily because American relationships for the most part are not "serious" for people of mine-your age group. It doesn't sound "shocking" that your ex is stalking you, because I know Chinese men also will not let you get on with your life after a breakup. Stereotypes exist for a reason; there will be exceptions but I've learned now to expect too much from that.

    I curious as to how to tip the scale back, but most people probably only think one thing: crazy. The definiton of crazy does not include "needs to be disregarded like an animal." This sounds like more of a psychiatry issue than psychology.

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  2. And even some American men won't let you off and leave you alone after breaking up, and I always thought that stalkerish things were something to be associated with individuals. Perhaps your ex is just doing it because all other guys do it. I wonder if there's a cultural reason for the common stalking.

    The psychologist who teaches psychology classes at my school says that pedophiles will walk up to a psychologist and ask "What's wrong with me? Please help!" - and sometimes the psychologist is willing to help. So in America, there are probably people willing to help the stalkers. But my guess is that the stalkers don't think that they are doing anything wrong, so they don't seek help. And that's compounded by the fact that in the Arab world, everyone does it, so everyone just thinks it's normal.

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  3. I think it's also the culture. A foreign exchanged student that came to my high school wouldn't speak to ANY guys when she was here simply because she had an Arabic boyfriend back home, and he didn't approve. She was too afraid to do so because she literally feared him, and she couldn't break up with him because she had already tried.

    I wish the best of luck to you; that would be extremely annoying! Maybe since they all do it there, he's just like the rest of them... Is it possible to try talking to them? Perhaps they're so clingy and female-dependent, LOL.

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