May 26, 2012

It's official

I'm now single. I'm announcing that here because I can't do it on Facebook or Twitter, in order to avoid tackiness. And nothing is real unless it's announced on the Internet, so this will just have to do.

I'm not heart-broken, although I do occasionally start to tear up at slight provocations. I'm mostly worried about losing my main source of distraction. There are a lot of hours in a day. I have no idea what I used to do with all this time. On some levels I hope he magically does exactly the perfect thing to make us get back together. Unfortunately, that thing does not exist.

I've been watching a lot of Qi lately. It's an absolutely pretentious show to enjoy as much as I do. I'm also reading a biography of Malcolm X for who knows what reason. And I really should get working on that memoir of this absolutely ridiculous year.

I'm probably going to turn into a complete egoist being alone with my pretentious hobbies.

May 20, 2012

The one where I talk about the things I'm not supposed to

The school year is beginning to wind down. As a teacher this means that the students are getting wild and we all just want it to be over. Which begs the question, what next? I don't, technically speaking, have the money to even pay for a ticket home for the summer. But I cannot imagine spending the whole summer here, where it will be deathly hot. I also don't have any idea if my job here will continue. I also have no idea if I'd be able to find a job in America. Sometimes I stare at my bank accounts and wonder if they've ever had any money in them.

It's an absolutely petrifying position to be in.

As a result I am taking it out on my boyfriend. I told him we were no longer a couple today, then when he asked if I was serious, I said, "meh." My officially stated reason for being annoyed with him is that he is a selfish person. If he was smarter, he would point out that that is a selfish reason, thereby invalidating the complaint. The unofficial reason is that I do not want to have to consider him in planning my future. I want to be free to rigorously pursue jobs in America. Not that there is any hope that I'll get one.

Really I just want to curl into a ball until someone fixes everything for me. I epitomize maturity.

May 07, 2012

Languages are hard

Do you ever think about the weird snippets of other languages you know? Do they ever pop into your head at odd times? I was just walking down the hall and I turned on a light and thought, "Kapunka." Which means "Thank you" in Thai.

I also learned the other day that when I say "Seedha" to tell taxi drivers to go straight, it's Urdu, not Arabic. (Because all the taxi drivers are Indian/Pakistani.) I said it as one of the Arabic words I know, to someone who was inquiring, and she was like "Psh, that's Urdu." Which I didn't even know, because I learned it from an Arab, who says it often when we share taxis, so I just assumed it was Arabic. (In my defense, he says "Yameen" and "Ya'sar" for "Right" and "Left," which are Arabic.)

And then there are the few bits of Polish I learned from my grandmother, the most important being "Dupa," which means "Butt."

And I also sometimes try to scrape the lining of my brain for a way to say something in Arabic, but I can only come up with the Spanish. The other day I was trying to think of how to say "I think," but I could only come up with "Pienso." Which is to be expected since my knowledge of Arabic amounts to nothing useful, while my Spanish is pretty extensive. But did I move to a Spanish-speaking country? No, of course not, I picked an Arab one.

C'est la vie.