A few days ago my best friend in this country (and the one who got me the job that brought me here) quit her job and left the country. I know that I will see her again soon, this summer most likely, but it is quite a blow to my emotional happiness to lose my best friend here. Now, nobody in this entire country understands me quite as much.
She had the same cultural and educational background as me. When I talked about Thanksgiving, I didn't have to stop to explain turkey and cranberry sauce and casserole. When I mentioned Jeopardy, she knew exactly what that was and what the theme song conveyed. We could talk about politics without stopping to explain filibuster or what politics in America really means. We even had the same misconceptions of this new country and were forming our new perceptions together.
We had the same history for a year in NYC before our time together here. We went to the same university for grad school and took most of the same classes, which means we both approached our jobs with the same attitude. We had many mutual friends that we could reference with ease. We had spent enough time together to know one another's life stories. And we had so many times together that we could reminisce about situations similar to a myriad of things happening here.
It gets tiring to explain yourself to others. From my habits like refusing to take photographs to my history with different boys du jour, she knew it all and didn't question it. I miss not having to give context for the things I want to say. When she was at the airport, one of my last texts to her was "I can't do this without you." And I'm afraid there's a bit too much truth in that statement.
STORY OF MY TRAVELING LIFE (except I never had a travel companion to begin with). I feel like no one believes me half the time when I explain my personality or quirks to them because they have no CONTEXT. They just see the person in front of them, who is wearing a facade ANYWAY. Traveling is exhausting.
ReplyDeleteYour life sounds extremely difficult, but I think that you'll make it back to America someday, and that you'll make it through just fine. People are often stronger then they think they are.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stephanie's comment. I know you can survive and make it through any trials and tribulations. Don't think you are alone. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it's like to feel like that in another country, but my best friend left me to move to another state with her husband and I must say it was a massive readjustment but it does get better. I must say the things that I miss the most is our inside jokes, and just thoes silly moments.
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