It's official

I'm now single. I'm announcing that here because I can't do it on Facebook or Twitter, in order to avoid tackiness. And nothing is real unless it's announced on the Internet, so this will just have to do.

I'm not heart-broken, although I do occasionally start to tear up at slight provocations. I'm mostly worried about losing my main source of distraction. There are a lot of hours in a day. I have no idea what I used to do with all this time. On some levels I hope he magically does exactly the perfect thing to make us get back together. Unfortunately, that thing does not exist.

I've been watching a lot of Qi lately. It's an absolutely pretentious show to enjoy as much as I do. I'm also reading a biography of Malcolm X for who knows what reason. And I really should get working on that memoir of this absolutely ridiculous year.

I'm probably going to turn into a complete egoist being alone with my pretentious hobbies.

The one where I talk about the things I'm not supposed to

The school year is beginning to wind down. As a teacher this means that the students are getting wild and we all just want it to be over. Which begs the question, what next? I don't, technically speaking, have the money to even pay for a ticket home for the summer. But I cannot imagine spending the whole summer here, where it will be deathly hot. I also don't have any idea if my job here will continue. I also have no idea if I'd be able to find a job in America. Sometimes I stare at my bank accounts and wonder if they've ever had any money in them.

It's an absolutely petrifying position to be in.

As a result I am taking it out on my boyfriend. I told him we were no longer a couple today, then when he asked if I was serious, I said, "meh." My officially stated reason for being annoyed with him is that he is a selfish person. If he was smarter, he would point out that that is a selfish reason, thereby invalidating the complaint. The unofficial reason is that I do not want to have to consider him in planning my future. I want to be free to rigorously pursue jobs in America. Not that there is any hope that I'll get one.

Really I just want to curl into a ball until someone fixes everything for me. I epitomize maturity.

Languages are hard

Do you ever think about the weird snippets of other languages you know? Do they ever pop into your head at odd times? I was just walking down the hall and I turned on a light and thought, "Kapunka." Which means "Thank you" in Thai.

I also learned the other day that when I say "Seedha" to tell taxi drivers to go straight, it's Urdu, not Arabic. (Because all the taxi drivers are Indian/Pakistani.) I said it as one of the Arabic words I know, to someone who was inquiring, and she was like "Psh, that's Urdu." Which I didn't even know, because I learned it from an Arab, who says it often when we share taxis, so I just assumed it was Arabic. (In my defense, he says "Yameen" and "Ya'sar" for "Right" and "Left," which are Arabic.)

And then there are the few bits of Polish I learned from my grandmother, the most important being "Dupa," which means "Butt."

And I also sometimes try to scrape the lining of my brain for a way to say something in Arabic, but I can only come up with the Spanish. The other day I was trying to think of how to say "I think," but I could only come up with "Pienso." Which is to be expected since my knowledge of Arabic amounts to nothing useful, while my Spanish is pretty extensive. But did I move to a Spanish-speaking country? No, of course not, I picked an Arab one.

C'est la vie.